The Chairperson of the Adamawa State Divorcees Association, Hajiya Safarau Yahaya, has opened up about the struggles, stigma, and silent resilience of divorced women, widows, and victims of forced marriages in the state, saying many still ridicule the idea of a divorcees’ union despite the noble goals it pursues.
“When we started the association, people laughed whenever I introduced myself as the chairperson of Adamawa State Divorcees Association. Some would look at me with disdain or amusement, as if being a divorcee was a crime. But I always tell them that our situation is destiny, and we are making the best use of it to salvage ourselves,” she said
Speaking in an exclusive interview with newsmen Hajiya Safarau reflected on the emotional and social challenges facing women who find themselves in broken marriages. She admitted that the label “divorcee” once brought her deep anger and humiliation.
“Sometimes I coiled in anger whenever I remembered my status as a divorcee. Before, whenever I was called that name, I would shrink with exasperated fury. But over time, I learned to accept that reality. Now, I simply shrug it off,” she said.
Hajiya Safarau lamented how men take advantage of the vulnerabilities of divorced women, seeing them as easy prey for sexual exploitation rather than as individuals deserving respect.
“Men are taking our vulnerabilities for granted. Most of them see us as tools for enjoyment. Because of our precarious economic situation, many men assume we are wayward. But I always tell people that not all of us are guilty of that. Joblessness has worsened our condition and forced some women into difficult choices,” she admitted.
She explained that the association’s membership includes three categories of women, widows, divorcees, and victims of forced marriages all united by a common struggle for dignity and survival.
“There are women whose husbands ran away and left them to fend for their children alone. I have a member whose husband abandoned her for seven years, leaving her with five children. I know three such cases personally,” she said.
The Adamawa State Divorcees Association, she explained, serves as a lifeline for many women in distress.
Through the group, members meet regularly to deliberate on their challenges and support one another.
“Sometimes we contribute money among ourselves to help the most vulnerable. Some of our members have nothing at all, so we do what we can to lift one another,” Hajiya Safarau said.
She also spoke glowingly about late Abubakar Gombi, a philanthropist and mentor who once provided financial and moral support to members of the association.
“Before his death, whenever a member got a suitor, late Abubakar Gombi would take charge of some basic requirements to ensure the marriage’s success. He also empowered some of us with seed capital. Since his passing, this gesture has stopped, and it has left a big vacuum,” she said.
On the root causes of divorce, she identified forced marriages and polygamy as major triggers.
“Many marriages collapse because they were forced or because husbands decide to take new wives without care for the first wife,” she explained.
Despite these hurdles, Hajiya Safarau remains committed to changing the narrative around divorcees. She said the association popularly called Zawrawa association, aims to protect women against sexual exploitation and create pathways to economic independence.
“We are planning to start small businesses so that our members can earn a living with dignity. Sometimes it’s difficult to control some of them because their financial situations are dire, but we keep trying,” she said.
According to her, the association’s efforts are already yielding results, as some members have remarried through its mediation and support.
“Some of our members have married as a result of our intervention. We are not a group of bitter women. We are survivors trying to rebuild our lives,” she said.
She noted that being a divorcee is no longer a source of shame, it is a symbol of resilience.
“People laughed when I started. But today, I stand proud as the chairperson of women who have refused to give up,” she concluded.
